I’m not sure why people keep on going inside this tunnel of uncertainties not even bothering to carry a torch. Or just a petite candle, sticking its ass on a stainless, unused-for-ages, little cup. People keep on entering this hole of misfortunes and deceitful passageways despite the warning signs allocated for them. Signs that could’ve helped them move farther away from sorrow and pain. Signs that were intentionally unseen by these ignorant people. Ignorant people – unfortunately, like me.
Once you get to escape this tunnel, you will never look at it the way you did before. Maybe you thought to yourself that you should’ve brought that battery-powered flashlight your cousin gave you or maybe followed your super-ego when he was asking you to back-off. Maybe you gave in to what you felt was right, faster than raindrops racing to touch the leaf of that apple tree in your backyard. You shouldn’t have. How naïve of you to think that tunnel was safe.
What did the adults say about dark places? Places you are unsure of? You have probably heard of these ten times every year. Perhaps, at thanksgiving or at your birthday where all of your long- bearded uncles attend. What did they say to you? Never attempt to go home so late that only the street lamps would lead you home, never take the lightless path on the way home, never let your feet touch a place you are unfamiliar with. A lot of nevers. But children like us like to switch stuff up. Ever attempted to go home late that only street lights are guiding you to your house’s doorstep? Ever took the path so dark that even the moonlight couldn’t show you the way? Ever stepped on a location full of strangers and new aroma? We are so curious. So curious that even these terrible things that might destroy the soul inside of us can look so innocent and safe. Innocent and safe. These were the words that led me to enter that tunnel. Unarmed and oh, so young.
At first glance, nothing can be seen by the naked eye. Just a few rocks felt by your feet. Ugh, why did I even wear these flip-flops. Should’ve worn my sneakers. I kept on walking, walking and walking. Why am I even here? My mind is telling me to turn around and go home. read your favorite book, watch your favorite show or just sleep away these curiosities. But why? Why am I still walking towards -- nothing? I can’t see a small light that indicates an exit for this tunnel. It’s beginning to creep me out but still I’m walking. Moving these pair of stubborn feet following the commands of a stubborn heart.
As I move forward, heat moved all over me like football players huddling in a meeting before a big game. This unexpected warm environment kept me company throughout this journey I can never explain. I’m guessing my pupils are dilating due to the darkness, but it wasn’t just that. There was light. Not that bright, but it was enough to let my eyes scan through my surroundings. It was magnificent. For an explorer like me, it was satisfying looking at this abandoned tunnel. To witness the emptiness and be there to fill it up. Bricks and vandalism spotted along the way. I couldn’t understand the words but for sure the people who entered here the last time only tried to ruin and put scars on this place.
Moving my fingertips through the walls of this tunnel made it feel like it was alive. It felt like the place was protecting me, warming me whenever I get cold, giving me sights that could entertain me such as amazing type of stones I can see or new doors along the way. But the only thing that bothered me, is the fact that I can’t get out of this place. Maybe, ever. Yes, it gave me warmth and comfort but how can I live my life if I just offer myself and let this place feed on me?
As I realized that, the tunnel became a little less warm. The lights were dimmer than it was before. I trip at times during the walk because of the increasing number of stones on the floor. Ouch. Scrapes on my knees. Geez, should’ve worn my pants, right? I let my fingers connect with the walls but as I touched it, the coldness was unbearable. What is this? What happened?
Footsteps. I heard footsteps. It was like a fast-walk. Like it was rushing towards me and aims to attack me. I gradually increased my speed. I kept on looking back even though that was a foolish thing to do since I can’t see a thing anymore because again, it was pitch black. The tunnel became what it was again the first time I came in. Dark and strange. It felt wrong, everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong the first time I stepped here. It was even wrong before I even knew about this place. Footsteps behind me switched into running and hell, so did I. I ran and ran even though the stones would hurt my heel. I tripped again but I knew I needed to stand up and run. Pitch-black. It was easy to give up and just stay there and be eaten alive. But I knew better now. So I run.
Light! I see it! I run to it! Just a little more!
I’m not sure why people can’t see the light in them. They don’t see the capacity they have to lead the way for themselves. To protect themselves. That tunnel was of two things in my life. Something to be aware of and a place where I learned that you should bring your light with you wherever you are, torch or candle.
Maybe the best thing is to avoid tunnels. But, in this life, we cannot avoid people who can be referred to as those tunnels we encounter. When we do, we need to equip ourselves with a light. The positivity within us that will strengthen us and help us in times when those people get dark and cold and might hurt us. That even they turn as black as night without that moonlight, there’s still us. The torch, the flashlight, the candle sticking its ass on a stainless, unused-for-ages, little cup.
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